DAVE SANDERS- a nice, goofy, delusional, clumsy, loveable lug that’s never had much of luck with the ladies. He doesn’t have a lot of confidence and nervously says the wrong things at the wrong time. Dave has a very romantic, idealized view of relationships. He’s also very, very horny and masturbates whenever possible. Dave is very much a cartoon character; he can take a lot of abuse that would kill a real person, and his expressions and body language are very extreme.

COOTIE BROWN, the GHOST PIMP- a player and pimp since he was very young, Cootie has a cynical, predatory ‘you vs. her’ attitude towards women. He always had the style and the right words to attract any girl and never had problems getting women because he never really cared beyond his own needs. In the end, that would be his downfall. Now, he’s a man very much out of his time, having been murdered in 1974 by his own stable of hoes. Times and attitudes have changed, and so have women. But Cootie hasn’t…he’s as sexist, racist and un-PC as he was back in the day. He’s like the devil and angel on your shoulder, but he’s all devil all the time. Ghost Pimp’s job is to teach Dave how to get chicks and move on to helping the next guy, but that’s gonna take a lot longer than he thinks. Cootie’s an angel/ghost, so he can pass through objects, fly, and is very fluid like mercury or smoke. He can move solid objects (usually when he’s pissed), but it takes great effort. His outfits change often, sometimes in the middle of a scene, ‘cause you know Cootie’s got to have the flyest pimp gear.